This Is the Job I Gave You

I kicked a toy out of my way as I headed to the washroom in the middle of the night. Sighing, I asked for the umpteenth time "Why do I have to do this?" Motherhood seemed overrated. I was irritated that I could not sleep, and that in a few short hours I would hear little voices calling, "Nana!" from upstairs.

Flashback: When I was twelve, I knew God was calling me to full-time Christian service. It's as real today as it was xy years ago! {wink}

In between then and now, life happened, just as it always will. Many events happened--sad and happy, but God ultimately fulfilled one of my biggest dreams: being a preacher's wife. Through the challenges and joys, I now thoroughly enjoy working in ministry alongside my husband. I wouldn't want to do anything else.

Yet this did not happen the way I expected. I was thirty-five before I met my husband. And finally my dreams came true! He's an awesome man of God who runs his own homebuilding company while pastoring a church he started.

The thing I didn't expect was to instantly become a mother of three as well! If that wasn't surprise enough, the next thing I didn't expect was to raise two little munchkins who happen to be our grandchildren!

I will be real here: I harboured such mixed emotions about getting the {grand}kids full-time! I had never raised toddlers, never had the opportunity to care for a baby, never homeschooled. Aaaaaaaaa!

My faithful God kept bringing back to my mind one of four specific verses He had given me when I was praying about marrying my husband: Esther 4:14. He told me He brought me here "for such a time as this." Over time, I came to accept the fact that I had a toddler full-time, and later, a second one. Full-time. But honestly, the fears were eating me alive!

How can I open my heart this wide?
How long will I get to raise them?
How long will I have to raise them? (This question came on the more challenging days!)
What will my emotions do when I have to give them up?
How will I handle my emotions if I raise them and in the end, they rebel against God and everything they are taught?
When will I ever have time for my coveted writing career--or anything else, for that matter?!

One evening God spoke into my life through a comment someone made in the Bible study discussion group I lead and teach. (Be faithful. God speaks through you to your leaders!) We were discussing children. Though I do not remember the exact comment from this lady,  God's ever-so-gentle comment to me at that moment was crystal clear!

My child,

This is the job I gave you.

I'm aware that you thought you would be on the mission field, 

or having your own biological children, 

or writing full-time... 

and all those desires are great!

And if I had asked you to do those things, 

you would have immediately surrendered. 

I know your heart is toward Me.

But these are the plans I had for you. 

This is what I had in mind for your life. 

This is what I know is best for you. 

The question has always been and always will be:

Will you trust ME?

Yes, Lord, I will trust You! You've always been faithful! How can I not trust You?

It's not about me, it's all about You,
I yield myself now unto all that is True;
I'm free to obey, to yield all I am,
I'll live for You now, O my precious Lamb!

I am yielding myself, surrendering all;
Lord Jesus, You love me, so I answer Your call!

It's not about me, it's all about You,
I choose to act now as You want me to do;
You gave me Your Spirit to walk as I ought,
Lord, I can be true unto all I've been taught.

I am yielding myself, surrendering all;
Lord Jesus, You love me, so I answer Your call!
words (c) Dayna Spear Guenther, 2013; music, John B. Summer, 1877 (hymn tune: "I'm a Child of the King")

O Lord, when I need to pick up toys for the 500th time, please remind me of those who are suffering in other parts of the world, imprisoned for their faith, watching their children be killed. Remind me of those precious ladies whose arms long to hold a child even if it means tripping over toys a gazillion times a day. (Remind me that I used to be one of those ladies!) Remind me of Your Son who endured so much agony just for me! Enable me to "consider Him which endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest {I} be wearied and faint in {my mind}" (Hebrews 12:3)!

What about you? 

Is there an area or circumstance of your life that you just wish God would change? Could it be that He brought you to this place "for such a time as this"? He truly has given us all things that pertain unto life and godliness (II Peter 1:3) He's faithful: if He's called you, He also will do it (I Thessalonians 5:24)! He will perfect that which concerns you (Psalm 138:8)!

Please comment and tell me your own story of God's leading in your life in paths you have not known (Isaiah 42:16). 

H.A.L.T.

Okay, I know it's been too long, but last post, I promised I would share the H.A.L.T. concept that has helped me.

There are four areas in which I need to be aware of a need to halt:

H.ungry

If I am feeling hungry (especially with blood sugar issues!), I need to halt whatever I'm doing and grab a handful of raw almonds, put some nut butter on a multi-grain cracker, or grab an apple... Get something in that stomach.

Can this affect my spiritual walk? Absolutely! When I am hungry, and I force myself on, not meeting that need, I can become grumpy. Next thing you know, I've bitten a family member's head off or I'm just an emotional wreck. All because of hunger. The direction ongoing, unmet hunger takes us can affect our spiritual lives.

Note: Another reason for feeling hunger at times is simple thirst. Most people (myself included) do not drink enough water. You might be amazed how much better you would feel if, when you feel hungry or unwell, you would simply drink a tall glass of water in about 15 seconds! I try to make it a practice to do this first thing in the morning.

Hungry and thirsty, their soul* fainted in them. Psalm 107:5
*Soul=mind, will, emotions!


A.ngry

Angry feelings are a signal that something needs to be addressed. This does not mean that dwelling in the anger is justified. But ignoring it or denying it is not the answer. If I don't know why I am angry, I need to get alone with the Lord and ask Him to reveal to me the root. Once I'm aware of the root, with God's help and His Word, I can lay an axe to that root. Does this mean I should just cut off from my life the person who made me angry? Is that "dealing with it"? I don't believe so. Jesus said to love our enemies (Luke 6). In the same passage He told us to be merciful as God is merciful, because God is kind to the "unthankful and to the evil"! That kind of love in action is only done through a "yieldedness" to the Spirit of God within me. And that's a whole other topic for another blogpost! Ha ha!

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Ephesians 4:26
The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy. Proverbs 14:10


L.onely

There are times when I don't realize I am lonely, but if I stop and think about why am I feeling sad or why I just generally feel "yucky" emotionally, I realize I am lonely. God created this need within us first and foremost, so that He could meet the need! I need to acknowledge God as my sole provider of comfort and friendship. He is all I need. My husband can't be with me every second of every day, and even if he is there, he is human and cannot possibly meet every single emotional need I have! So I have to turn to the Source of comfort. Secondarily, there are many times that I need to reach out to someone, even when I don't feel like it. Maybe I need to say hi to a neighbour, take some cookies to them, or set up a time to meet a girlfriend for coffee or have her over for tea.

A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24


T.ired

Sometimes, I'm just plumb worn out! Moms tend to burn the candle on both ends. So I need to be sure I'm getting enough rest. Maybe that's six hours for you. Generally it's seven to eight hours for me. If something interferes {ahem, a three-year-old girl!}, then I need to take a nap when she does.

[It is] vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows*: [for] so he giveth his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:2
*Interesting that lack of sleep is associated with sorrow!

Next time you are feeling "yucky" spiritually, physically, or emotionally, and you cannot seem to find a reason, remember this little acrostic: H.A.L.T. There is an answer.

Home Is My Haven

As a Christian homemaker, I truly believe that my home should be a haven for my family--including me!

I absolutely love my backyard! Of course, there is always weeding... and more flowers to be planted.

And I'm working on redecorating our 1960s home. Sometimes I get discouraged and leave a project for weeks.

I confess there are days when I don't keep up with homemaking: dishes, laundry, and cleaning, as I should. I admit that I have a mountain of mending that I never seem to get to!

Currently my focus is on reestablishing my weekly homemaking routine. And my biggest helper is FlyLady.

Here's a gal who inspires me as a homemaker. (I really like her advice on her morning routine and planning her day.)

And another.

I still believe that the most important thing is to seek the Lord daily in my quest to be a better homemaker and make my home a haven. I just tell Jesus when I feel overwhelmed, and then claim a Scripture verse to help me to the next level! I print it or write it out on a brightly coloured sheet of paper and tape it above my kitchen sink, or another place I will see it often. (Another favourite spot is on the fridge next to the stove, so I can read it over as I'm stirring our dinner!) Whenever I see it, I read it, aloud or silently. Before long, I have it memorized.

If you're a homemaker, I would encourage you to do this with Scripture. It's also great to bookmark or subscribe to a few of these homemaker blogs, as well as FlyLady, to help you stay encouraged, focused, and disciplined as a mom and homemaker.

Oh, by the way, the Scripture above my sink right now is I Peter 2:22-23.
For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

Sometimes as homemakers and moms we feel that we give and give and give... and sometimes we're exhausted or just plain tired of "giving out." Though retribution should not be our focus, at times, we can't help thinking about it, especially on those trying days when it seems everything is going wrong! But God does give us encouragement along the way, and we need to choose to watch for those little things, and focus on them, not on the things we dislike. Attitude is key!

Lord, please live Your life through me; I commit myself to You, my Righteous Judge. I choose to trust Your judgment in my life. I will discipline myself now to plan my day and then just do the next thing. I can do anything for fifteen minutes!