Choosing Joy

Sara (pictured here with her dog Riley) is dying of a hereditary, autoimmune disease abbreviated AS, but as her blog proclaims, she is "choosing joy."

This is the most inspiring, convicting, and sobering thing I have read in awhile. She writes...

“How do you manage to stay so positive? So happy? Don’t you ever just get really mad?”

I suppose the cop out answer, while true, is that I just don’t have the energy to be mad. Seriously. It takes so much effort and energy to wallow. And it’s not any fun. I live 99.8% of my time alone, and if anger was all I had to live with I would lose my mind.

I think, for me, it has been about learning to want what He wants for me more than what I want for myself.It's a tall order and I don't say that flippantly. But my joy has truly come from Him finding His joy in me rather than me finding my joy in what I desire. It doesn't mean I don't long for different, it just means I find peace in fulfilling rather than understanding. In the knowledge that this life isn’t about me, it’s about Him.

The thing I try to remind myself of, as I am without all the things that I wish I had to make me happy, is that my biggest need is Him. More than I need to be outside in the fresh air, more than I need to move without pain, more than I even need Dad... I need His will to be done in my life whether it is comfortable or not. There is not one thing that feels comfortable about my world right now, but I need Him more than I need to change my circumstances.

It's still brutally hard. I have to remind myself of these facts every day. It doesn’t always come easily.

But it doesn’t make the truth any less true.

And the truth is that I can choose the joy.

So I do.

~ Sara at Gitzen Girl: Choose Joy blog, http://gitzengirl.blogspot.com/

Update: Tuesday, Sept. 14, 2011...

Sara received information late yesterday afternoon that her body was beginning to shut down, and things have moved quickly since. Hospice arrived this morning and Sara is comfortable. Her family is surrounding her and reading her texts, facebook posts, and emails, so please feel free to contact her and share your love; she will not be able to reply but is taking great peace in your words, your heart.  I know how thankful she is for each of you, how much joy you’ve added to her days, and what purpose sharing Him has given her. I will continue to post as things change and want to thank each of you for the ways in which you have loved sweet Sara so well.

Autumn Pleasures from God

I Am Loved

I am continually struck by how quickly this world's philosophies can affect my mind, convincing me that I have to get my identity from my accomplishments or from others' approval. There is not a day that goes by that I don't need God's Word to get my head screwed back on straight!

Jeremiah 9:23-24 says, "Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mightly man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth Me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment [justice], and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD."

I have nothing to be lastingly happy and joyful about outside of God. Everything I have is from Him!

I like what Wilma Sullivan says in her book, A Song for All Seasons:

"This old world tells us that we have to get our identity, our "self-image," from what we do. Therefore, we can have self-esteem or feel good about ourselves if we do good, important and worthwhile things. In that reasoning, people can glory in being professionals (teachers, doctors, real estate agents, etc.), in doing what they do as a career. They can glory in the talents or characteristics they display (as musicians, artists, athletes, gourmet cooks, or having a good figure or great strength, etc.). They can glory in what they've acquired (money and other possessions). Or they can glory in the responsibilities they fulfill and in the people who need or respect them (parenting, church work, civic duties, children, friends, etc.).

"But God clearly tells us that we can't glory in any of those things. Either they will puff us up in pride (as we try to take the credit for God-given talents, possessions, opportunities, etc.), or they will fail us. We can lose jobs and money, and we certainly can lose our figures. People may not appreciate our talents. And regardless of our self-discipline, we still blow it at times when it comes to our responsibilities and relationships. To disregard God's direction and try to find our self-worth in such things is downright foolish.

"What's more, when we try to find our identity in what we do, sinful behavior becomes a part of that identity. What I mean is that when we as Christians allow sin to beset us, we think of that sin as a part of who we are, and thus we have to take the label of sin. We tie our weaknesses to our self-concept... We sink into despair and defeat because, in our flesh, we think that God couldn't love us as we are.

"Hey, wait a minute! Nothing can separate us from the love of God!... We play right into the devil's hands when we think our identity comes from all those things we do or have. Satan knows that we're looking for victory and acceptance in all the wrong places, and he wants to keep us in the dark." (pages 82-83)

No! Christ Himself is my life (Colossians 3:3-4)! I am complete in Him (Colossians 2:10)! My past is gone and all things are new (II Corinthians 5:17)! I am blessed with all spiritual blessings (Ephesians 1:3)! He always makes me triumph (II Corinthians 2:14)!

I'm not defeated. I'm not a failure. I'm not stupid. I'm not defined by my accomplishments, or lack of accomplishments. My identity is in CHRIST. In HIM I live, and move, and have my being (Acts 17:28)!

REMEMBER: Satan knows that we're looking for victory and acceptance in all the wrong places, and he wants to keep us in the dark.

Don't let him win! I'm so glad that in Christ I find complete acceptance and unconditional love. He is constantly pursuing a closer, more intimate relationship with ME! I love Him because He first loved me (I John 4:19)! That makes my service for Him special; it's given out of love, not as an effort to try to gain His acceptance! I already have His acceptance!



I am unconditionally loved: knowing and accepting this gives me true joy!

My Kitties Make Me Happy

I have a calico cat named Espresso. She is pictured here with my 12-year-old son Anthony. I call her my Caramel Espresso because her markings look like someone dropped caramel onto her dark chocolate body! My daughter Chrystal and I love to watch the kitties' antics on the back deck. We spent a lot of time this summer watching and playing with them. Chrystal's cat is an orange cat she named Taffy.

They are outdoor cats, and it just pulls at my heart when I see both of their faces in the little square window next to my front door. They look in as if to say, "Pleeeeease, pretty pleeeeease, let us in!" Of course they have a kitty garage, with a little dog house inside which has lots of straw to keep them warm, and they are used to the outdoors and the cold, even in Canada.

I can't help but wonder if I feel a teeny bit of how God feels when I come to Him in prayer with a request. He just loves it that I come talk to Him--that I bring Him my requests. How do I know? Scripture tells me so. Philippians 4:5-6 says, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

God delights in the fact that I delight in Him! I get a little taste of the joy that I bring to Him, in the joy that I feel when my kitties seek my attention.