This Is the Job I Gave You

I kicked a toy out of my way as I headed to the washroom in the middle of the night. Sighing, I asked for the umpteenth time "Why do I have to do this?" Motherhood seemed overrated. I was irritated that I could not sleep, and that in a few short hours I would hear little voices calling, "Nana!" from upstairs.

Flashback: When I was twelve, I knew God was calling me to full-time Christian service. It's as real today as it was xy years ago! {wink}

In between then and now, life happened, just as it always will. Many events happened--sad and happy, but God ultimately fulfilled one of my biggest dreams: being a preacher's wife. Through the challenges and joys, I now thoroughly enjoy working in ministry alongside my husband. I wouldn't want to do anything else.

Yet this did not happen the way I expected. I was thirty-five before I met my husband. And finally my dreams came true! He's an awesome man of God who runs his own homebuilding company while pastoring a church he started.

The thing I didn't expect was to instantly become a mother of three as well! If that wasn't surprise enough, the next thing I didn't expect was to raise two little munchkins who happen to be our grandchildren!

I will be real here: I harboured such mixed emotions about getting the {grand}kids full-time! I had never raised toddlers, never had the opportunity to care for a baby, never homeschooled. Aaaaaaaaa!

My faithful God kept bringing back to my mind one of four specific verses He had given me when I was praying about marrying my husband: Esther 4:14. He told me He brought me here "for such a time as this." Over time, I came to accept the fact that I had a toddler full-time, and later, a second one. Full-time. But honestly, the fears were eating me alive!

How can I open my heart this wide?
How long will I get to raise them?
How long will I have to raise them? (This question came on the more challenging days!)
What will my emotions do when I have to give them up?
How will I handle my emotions if I raise them and in the end, they rebel against God and everything they are taught?
When will I ever have time for my coveted writing career--or anything else, for that matter?!

One evening God spoke into my life through a comment someone made in the Bible study discussion group I lead and teach. (Be faithful. God speaks through you to your leaders!) We were discussing children. Though I do not remember the exact comment from this lady,  God's ever-so-gentle comment to me at that moment was crystal clear!

My child,

This is the job I gave you.

I'm aware that you thought you would be on the mission field, 

or having your own biological children, 

or writing full-time... 

and all those desires are great!

And if I had asked you to do those things, 

you would have immediately surrendered. 

I know your heart is toward Me.

But these are the plans I had for you. 

This is what I had in mind for your life. 

This is what I know is best for you. 

The question has always been and always will be:

Will you trust ME?

Yes, Lord, I will trust You! You've always been faithful! How can I not trust You?

It's not about me, it's all about You,
I yield myself now unto all that is True;
I'm free to obey, to yield all I am,
I'll live for You now, O my precious Lamb!

I am yielding myself, surrendering all;
Lord Jesus, You love me, so I answer Your call!

It's not about me, it's all about You,
I choose to act now as You want me to do;
You gave me Your Spirit to walk as I ought,
Lord, I can be true unto all I've been taught.

I am yielding myself, surrendering all;
Lord Jesus, You love me, so I answer Your call!
words (c) Dayna Spear Guenther, 2013; music, John B. Summer, 1877 (hymn tune: "I'm a Child of the King")

O Lord, when I need to pick up toys for the 500th time, please remind me of those who are suffering in other parts of the world, imprisoned for their faith, watching their children be killed. Remind me of those precious ladies whose arms long to hold a child even if it means tripping over toys a gazillion times a day. (Remind me that I used to be one of those ladies!) Remind me of Your Son who endured so much agony just for me! Enable me to "consider Him which endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest {I} be wearied and faint in {my mind}" (Hebrews 12:3)!

What about you? 

Is there an area or circumstance of your life that you just wish God would change? Could it be that He brought you to this place "for such a time as this"? He truly has given us all things that pertain unto life and godliness (II Peter 1:3) He's faithful: if He's called you, He also will do it (I Thessalonians 5:24)! He will perfect that which concerns you (Psalm 138:8)!

Please comment and tell me your own story of God's leading in your life in paths you have not known (Isaiah 42:16). 

Jesus, My Champion!

Lord Jesus, thank You for always championing my cause! I can trust that You will always bring forth my righteousness as the light (Ps. 37:1-11) when I am right and correct my wrongs, as I yield to Your Spirit in my life. I do not have to fear those who are mad at me because You are keeping the records. I do not have to be defensive. When I trust that You are my Champion and Defender, the irritation or anger or sadness caused by others becomes as nothing (Isa. 41:10-14). The things of this world grow strangely dim when I turn my eyes to You, Jesus! Cause me (motivate me) to hear (listen to) Your lovingkindness in the morning (early in a situation), because I'm choosing to trust in You, and to know the way I should BE/live today, because I'm lifting up my soul (mind, will, and emotions) in cupped hands to You for Your control (Ps. 143:8).

Psalm 37: 

1Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

2For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

3Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

4Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

5Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

6And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

7Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

8Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

9For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.

10For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.

11But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

Isaiah 41:

10Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

11Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish.

12Thou shalt seek them, and shalt not find them, even them that contended with thee: they that war against thee shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought.

13For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

14Fear not, thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel; I will help thee, saith the Lord, and thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

Psalm 143:8Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

Does Anyone See or Care?

Hagar, Genesis chapters 16 and 21

There have been times I felt that no one, not even God, really saw or noticed all the work I was doing day after day with a toddler at home. I felt isolated... Hubby at work all day and then studying for sermons on the weekend.

But God really encouraged me with Hagar in Genesis 16... Remember Hagar? She felt like no one knew or appreciated her, but she had an encounter with God so real that she exclaimed that now she knew that "Thou God seest me"!

The neatest part? GOD pursued HER. When she gave up, at the lowest of her lows, HE reached out to HER! But it was her choice to respond to Him.

God gave me this passage of Scripture in direct answer to my cries to Him, "Do YOU even SEE me? Do YOU even SEE all I am doing here?" Of course, I knew in my HEAD that He did, but I FELT alone.

I don't know if you're discouraged, or what your life situation is, but the next time you feel down, I hope you'll be encouraged and lifted up with the thought that God SEES you...with LOVE and CARE! His Word is there to sustain and comfort you. He's reaching out. He's waiting for you to respond to Him.

Is your burden heavy as you bear it all alone?
Does the road you travel harbour danger yet unknown?
Are you growing weary through the struggle of it all?
Jesus will help you, when on His name you call!

Is the life you're living filled with sorrow and despair?
Does the future press you with its worry and its care?
Are you tired and friendless? Have you almost lost your way?Jesus will help you; just come to Him today!

He is always there, hearing ev'ry prayer, faithful and true!
Walking by our side, in His love we hide all the day through!
When you get discouraged, just remember what to do--
Reach out to Jesus; He's reaching out to you!

~ Ralph Carmichael

I Have Heard... I Have Seen...

Ever feel like quitting?

No one notices or appreciates what I do anyway. 

© 2011 Harpo

In the whispers of the morning when I'm so tired my eyes just want to close, and I ask God, "Why am I so tired?"... 


When my heart is hurting, and I wonder how long...


When I'm overwhelmed with responsibility, and I would love to just run away and hide...


When I'm crying, and I don't even know why...

My God answers me, as He answered King Hezekiah in II Kings 20:5: 

"... I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee..."

I want to share this devotional excerpt, a reminder for my spirit, my heart, my soul, my emotions...

It is a new day, and as the foggy vision of sleepiness clears, the mountains of clothes to be laundered looms into view. Then come the thoughts of floors that need mopping, furniture that needs dusting, and that pie you promised to bake. Not to mention, of course, the whole routine required to get the kids off to school. It seems that before your feet ever touch the floor, you're tired again. 

Sometimes it's the menial tasks of everyday life that an take the most out of women. Perhaps because of its repetitive nature. Or maybe because our efforts are not always noticed. Not even paid. It is here that satan hopes to defeat us--to distract us from the proper perspective, which (as in all things) is still found in Christ. 

For Jesus Christ knows what it is to serve an inattentive and ungrateful world. The King of all creation actually washed His disciples' feet. He died for people who didn't even like Him. What an honour, then, if is for women to be able to serve others in the same capacity as Christ. Whether it's wiping little noses or cleaning off countertops, the more things we have to do, the more opportunities we have to bring Him honour. Though no one else may see or care, God does. And He receives each effort as a gift of thanks for the incredible sacrifice He gave us--Christ Himself.

Source: Heart Reflections Devotional, by Nanette Kincade

Hagar was in the desert, wanting to die rather than be subjected to her "boss's" abuse. 

WikiPaintings

But God found her! 


Genesis 16:7 says, "And the angel of the LORD found her..." He cared enough to initiate the conversation! Then He promised her that the baby she carried would live and prosper!


"And she called the name of the LORD that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?" (Genesis 16:13) 


God sees you, exhausted homemaker... weary wife... single mom... praying nana... selfless grandma... God sees all that you are and all that you are doing. And that is all that matters. 

He. Sees. You.

"... I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee..."

Grateful

The late Sara Frankl

Gitzen Girl

Sara has inspired me to learn to choose joy every day.

Sara faithfully shared her gratefulness to God in the midst of a terminal illness that kept her in constant pain for more than the last fourteen years of her life. She was honest, open, real. She, like Jesus, "learned obedience through the things which [s]he suffered."

I’ve learned to appreciate the simplicity in my moments. I’ve learned that being thankful in everything is more important than being thankful for something. I want to be grateful for everything in my life, not just the special moments. ~ Sara

Sara could not leave her home for years, due to the need for continuous purified air to keep her alive, and so she could not spend holidays with her family. She could not eat food brought to her from family gatherings, because she had so many food allergies that were deadly.

Yet Sara was grateful. Two years ago around Thanksgiving, she wrote about how thankful she was for the good things in her life.

I am simply grateful. I appreciate my life because it’s the one He has given to me, and I don’t want to waste a moment of it wishing for anything else. ~ Sara

Sara's acceptance of her illness from God's hand as His divine purpose for her, whether she understood it or not, is expressed in the following paragraphs. (Honestly, she sounds just like me in the first two paragraphs!)

I always believed I had that faith… but mine was a faith of conditions. I had faith He would take care of me, but I assumed that meant I would be cared for with good health. I had faith that I would prosper, and assumed that meant my career would follow a good path. I had faith that He wanted the best for me, and assumed that meant my life would unfold in a way I envisioned.

But as the years progressed and I lost more and more of what I thought defined me...I realized that being a servant meant all or nothing. A line was drawn in the sand and I had to choose my fear, or I had to choose to completely trust Him. It had to be an all or nothing choice because one cannot exist if the other is true.


I chose to trust, and I’ve never looked back. I can be tired, I can be frustrated by my circumstances and exhausted from the pain, but I am never fearful of what is to come because I know that He is in control. I have faith that He will take care of me, and He has given me fortitude and peace in my heart as I face the challenges my body inflicts on me. I have faith that I will prosper, and I have been blessed with plentiful friends who walk this journey with me. I have faith that He wants the best for me, and He shows me that daily by using my life in ways that serve others--being there in small ways I would never have been able to if my life had unfolded the way I envisioned...

If Jesus was a servant, if he lost everything to come to Earth in the form of a baby who had nothing more than love to give, why would I assume to deserve more? ~ Sara

Sara's doctrinal beliefs are far different than mine, but in the few articles I have read, she has taught me her one little word for 2011: Praise.

Sara is gone now, but her exhortation lives on. This Thanksgiving season, will you join me in the simple praise she modelled... by yielding yourself in new, tangible ways to the One Who knows best for you? ...The One Who has a purpose greater than your own plans? ...The One Who "will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ"?

“The world has yet to see what God can do through a man who is totally yielded to Him.” ~ D.L. Moody

Loving or Unloving?

‎"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." (I John 4:7-8) 

Knowing God is a continual process. The better I know God, the more loving I can become as I yield to Christ Who is living in me.

I have all the power to love already IN ME. Knowing and understanding God more and more causes the natural effect of my loving others even more than I ever thought possible--even unlovable people, unkind people, or people who don't love me back.

My love for others is not my love... it's Christ's love in me. The love I show indicates that I am "born of God" (saved), but also that I KNOW God on an intimate level... not just "believing IN God." "Believing God" is different than "Believing IN God."

So if I find myself unloving, I don't need to beat myself up and "try harder to love." I need to get to KNOW HIM more. HE is love.

Knowing You, Jesus
Graham Kendrick

All I once held dear, built my life upon,
All this world reveres and wars to own;
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
Spent and worthless now compared to this:

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best,
You're my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You, Lord.

Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and know as Yours;
To possess by faith what I could not earn,
All surpassing gift of righteousness.

Oh to know the power of Your risen life,
And to know You in Your sufferings;
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
So with You to live and never die.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best,
You're my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You, Lord.

Personal Experience With Depression

I have personally suffered from depression for years and took anti-depressants for more than 10 years. I have struggled, seeking answers.

Three years ago I was able to wean off of the anti-depressants (not without fear and trepidation!) by starting a daily regimen of Omega-3 supplements along with 5HTP capsules. The 5HTP helps me get into a deep sleep and stay there through the night, as sleep problems many times contribute to depression.

I highly encourage anyone suffering with depression or mental illness NOT to make anti-depressants and medications their first option. Seek to find the SOURCE, rather than just treating symptoms. This is what most anti-depressant drugs do: treat symptoms.

Seeing a naturopathic doctor helped me as well, to check for food allergies, etc. Sometimes a gluten or wheat allergy wreaks havoc on someone’s system! Until someone reaches “bottom,” he/she may be unwilling to change his/her lifestyle and diet, but trust me, once you reach that all-time low, you’re willing to try just about anything. It seems to me that it’s better to try healing your body naturally with the things that God created (herbs, vitamins, etc.) than to immediately jump to a synthetic solution. Too many times the cure proves worse than the disease in the medical arena. (I speak with all due respect to medical professionals. I believe there is definitely a time and place for their services.)

Another thing that helped me is an exercise regimen. I definitely see a difference in my mood and a lack of feeling hopeless when I’m exercising or active in some way.

Most important of all–-and above any natural health or fitness solution-–JESUS is THE medicine! Singing and choosing to be with people (instead of isolating) are areas that helped me also. But THE most important is the input of GOD’S WORD daily. Jesus IS the WORD (John 1:1). Play Scripture music. Play the Bible on CD. Read it. Post print-outs of Scripture around the house. Make your own songs up out of the Scriptures that are meaningful to you. Meditate and saturate yourself with Scripture!!


The Apostle Paul had a "thorn in the flesh, a messenger of satan to buffet" him. He asked God three times to remove it, but God told him that His grace was "sufficient." This is how I have come to accept my battle with depression. I do all the things that God has allowed me to find that help me, but if I fight a day or two here and there when I feel depressed, I accept it that God still wants me to remember I need to run to Him first. He is my hiding place (Psalm 32:7); not my Omega-3 supplements or exercise, or anything else outside of Him that I have found to help me. Those findings are good and important, and I believe they are answers from heaven. However, when it comes down to it, HE is all I need. HE is my all in all.


...And when it comes down to it, I have a choice. 

‎"Lincoln once said that most people are about as happy as they decide to be. In the end, you may have to pray for the grace and courage to decide to say "yes" to life and, by so doing, prove to the world that you have indeed been saved: "by grace through faith." To make such a decision is not to be a Pollyanna. It is willing to will the will of God." ~ Tony Campolo

If you would like more info that I have found  in my search for help with depression, please feel free to message me.

It's Not Fair!

Why me? 


I don't deserve this.


I deserve better.


What did I do to deserve this?

Continual questions flow through my mind. I feel I try so hard to "be good" and "do right." And things continue to go "wrong."

It's not fair! 

There's another expression of emotion that comes easily when I don't truly believe God for Who He is.

God is good. I have been taught that. I know that in my head. But do I truly believe it in my heart?

Recently, I had an epiphany of sorts over a familiar verse. I learned to quote this verse as a two-year-old child:

And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. ~ Romans 8:28

Yeah. I've read and quoted that verse so many times. But now I notice that it says, "the called according to His purpose."

I am the called one. The position in which God has placed me in life is for His purpose and ultimately for my good.

God has not maliciously placed me in this position. He has good reasons that I may not know now, but I will know one day. Jesus said:

What I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter. ~ John 13:7

So it is up to me to believe God is Who He says He is!

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knoweth them that trust in Him. ~ Nahum 1:7

Knowing God intimately is the privilege of those who trust in Him. If I know and trust that He is good, He becomes my stronghold in the day of trouble.

Countless Scriptures tell me that God is good. That God orchestrates everything in my life. That nothing happens by accident.

The question is: Will I trust in a good God today?

I will trust when I cannot see,

When I'm faced with adversity;

And believe Your will is always best for me,

I will trust when I cannot see.

~ John W. Peterson